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CONSTRUCTION KNOWLEDGE BLOG

March 22, 2012

Funniest College Application Essay
Filed under: Ned Weirdness — Tags: — nedpelger

While I generally post about construction concepts, I like to showcase creative solutions from diverse sources. Lex sent me this college application essay that makes me laugh out loud. The kid who wrote it now attends NYU.

3A. ESSAY:
IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION: ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving
competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But i have never been to college.

CONSTRUCTION KNOWLEDGE BLOG

March 9, 2012

Adaptive Reuse: Plastic Thatching
Filed under: Design — Tags: , — nedpelger

Gizmodo featured a hand cranked machine that slices plastic bottles into roof thatch. The photo below shows the machine and the finished product.

In Ecuador, the traditional thatched huts were getting more challenging to build with the loss of grass lands to farming. By utilizing this machine and gathering 1600 two liter soda bottles, a permanent thatched roof can be installed. Along with being a long life material, the plastic allows light to pass into the hut. This daylighting reduces the reliance on candles and other harmful light sources.

I love to see creative adaptive reuse. In this case, Dr. David Saiia, a professor at Duquesne University, sketched the idea on a napkin when it came to him. As an associate professor of strategic management and sustainability, Dr. Saiia was investigating sustainable enterprises for the small farmers in Ecuador. As he applies for patents on the machine, he’s also investigating ways to automate the process and create business opportunities.

When I see someone grab a new idea, I’m inspired to keep pushing the boundaries on my own projects. I want to keep improving what we do. Success follows those who understand their processes and strive to constantly improve them.